March 28th 2012

Good Morning- This blog thing has become a habit that I attack every morning. Just wish I could get in good with some other habits; like getting to the gym, following through with my healthy intentions etc. Went into work with all kinds of good intentions.....Hardest one to have is keeping it in the positive....as usual that didn't last long. I was fine until my group started increasing by the second. Yeah!!! Over the weekend my group multiplied. We have this very foolish system where as people are placed into your group based upon a list that either reads open or closed. Last week I was rested heavy on maybe room for one more. Our cap (according to NY state) is 15 people. Which quite honestly is to many people to have a truly successful group in the first place; but I suppose they consider call ins, and no shows leaving a group with a healthy average of 10 per group. As I mentioned we have this stupid system where as I (as the group leader) needs to maintain an active role in monitoring my list so as the group does not tap out over 15. Well I came back to work yesterday, having not monitored (as I still did have room) and SIX, yes SIX people were added to my group. So now I have 20- maybe 21 I really am not totally positive on that number. I am in the smallest group room we have in the building and usually find myself standing when we have 14 people, I work the least amount of hours per week. 20 total. And now I fond myself accountable for 20 people. Something in this system is just not working...wouldn't you say. So instead of working on the stuff I need to take care of yesterday I am struggling to quick push out anyone currently in my group who may be about ready to move on to a lower level of care. I have a few people who need to move I was able to prep five, but as I mentioned before, transfering people from my group always seem to hit road blocks. So needless to say, I am so not looking forwards to what this day might bring. If everyone comes to group.....I am screwed. These are the days when I think what the hell am I doing here? Part time work is suppose to be just that- part time. Why do I feel I am trying to do a 40 hour a week job in 20 hours.....OH! Yeah, that would be because I am doing a 40 hour week job in 20 hours. Thinking of requesting four more hours, but thats not fair!!!! I was hired for 20!!!! And yes I have been able to make it work- cauz I'm a crazy person!!!! But in all reality this job without the extra six people in the group demands more hours then what I am working in the first place. As my peers approached me after this news was disclosed, and asked "what are you going to do?" I simply smiled and said my infamous words..."I'll just have to make it work". Now back in private practice those words would have rang true, and when I was double booked sometimes even tripple booked YES I did make it work! But I was the master of my own little world back then and I juggled what I could to make sure that everything went smooth. In this job, I am only the master of the constraints of my own authority....which happens to be VERY limited!!! I have a gatekeeper, co-workers, and my work day ends at 2pm, which by the way, I do not get paid an amazing rate based on the number of billable hours (people seen) I attend to in those 20 hours. Oh so frusterated. Keep asking myself is this really worth it? Yes!!!! Get my school hours, get some teaching practice so I can go on to bigger and better things. Push through!!!!!! Push through. It is not my fault that this system has failed. I cannot be the only person who has run into this problem. Maybe it will force my supervisor to not be so damn anal about those people awaiting to transfer or maybe they will come up with a better system. It appears to me that there are several systems in this machine that have faulty wiring.....but who am I to make that call? times ticking and as much as I want to gripe and moan. I have to get myself prepared for another day....well til next time!!!!