Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Valentines Day 2012
I let my anger get the best of me yesterday, and I'm still stewing in it. Trying hard to let it go and enjoy the "sweetness" of today, but it's not going so well. An argument with my little one about not having his winter coat (he left it at his Bubbe's) lead into a full blown war yesterday morning, and then later an issue arrose with my SO. After my daughters medical appointment and a quick dash to find a winter coat (only to have my son decline the one I found), all children were at school and the stew fest began. It pretty much lingered throughout the day and my later surprise put me into such a FUNK I spent the day trying to shake my irritability by catching up on The True Blood series #2. This helped a little. Rest of the night continued my pout fest and I didn't stray to far from the security of my couch (remote tightly in hand). This morning, I find myself caught in a big case of the F-it's as one might say, not thrilled that I actully have to get myself out of a pair of sweats pants, put on a happy face and take my joyful self off to work. Although I had all day yesterday to make some valentines for my family and I had so hoped to make a cake with my new skills....I did nothing. Regretful yes, but I really just wanted to crawl into a hole somewhere and stay hidden for eternity. It used to be that the reality of things I could handle, I just dont know why I find that at this stage of my life...I really don't want to step up to the plate. I'm so tired all the time, I more often then not force myself to enjoy the moments...I so just want to throw my hands up in the air and say...Oh well!!! What do I care. Sad part about it, is sometimes I really don't CARE. The truth in that statement scrares me to death! With that I guess I had better put on a fake smile, get myself prepared for the day and ready to roll. Maybe after I get out of this house and my work day ends, I will feel more ready to embrace my family and celebrate Valentines Day. I still have time to put together a heart cake and I do have my chocolate gifts to give.