Monday, March 1, 2010

Monday.... I have officially have begun....Wendy's new way of living. I started off this am, doing some journaling. Easy enough, then I read from two different inspirational daily readings. Interesting that they both mentioned Meditation. I have never been one to just sit. Prolonged meetings, lectures and even waiting at a Dr. appointment has me a wreck....I find myself stirring in my seat, fidigeting, crossing and uncrossing my legs, doodling, giving heavy YOU CAN TELL I've had enough sighs and even pacing if given the option. So the idea of meditating seems extremly foregin to me. In my profession...I have been taught how to lead others into a state of relaxation, and I do this well...I have even taken my own counselor wellness courses to assist in my own stress reduction, and when I think about prayer I realize there is a part of meditation needed. I recognize the value and the benefits of meditation. Thing is..... I just can't seem to do it. I strongly believe that things happen for a reason....therefore two readings referencing meditation has to mean something. Today I will attempt to meditate....I will just sit in stillness, appriciate the calm and quiet, attempt to block out any intrusive thoughts that may develop and bring myself back to this state of one within myself. PEACE, SERENITY......imagine that. Start small, and I have been told that there is no wrong way to do this, if thoughts wonder...then that's okay I will simple blow them away and focus on the calm. Feel the floor under my feet, the hardness of the chair against my back, listen to the silence and the slow pace of my shallow breathing, breath deep I smell the familular sent of home bringing me a sense of safety and love, I will gaze into the darkness of my minds eye, perhaps there is some mind will drift into a state of comfort and assurance that all things will be as ment to be, time will become non existant I will not feel rushed, I hear the dryer buzzer...and I briefly question if I remember to wash the blouse I plan to wear later today..........I divert.....breathe a little heavier now....bring myself back...I say to the air more then to myself....Everything is what it shall be...all is okay. I am back again...I attempt to visualize an open pasture a warm breeze blows across my face, the smell of wildflowers tickle my nose, I hear the rustle of weeds being blown in a calming rythym. I sense the warm sun beating upon my face and embrace it's arms. I breathe again, feeling as if I am truly there in the sun, in the field, smelling the smells, engulfed in the serenity of it all. I am one with all things, no question of where my life SHOULD be, as I am right where I need to be!!! I have no doubts, no fears, all is welcomed, I can be authentic to myself, I can be me!!!! That was fun......feeling pretty confident now....... I 'll let you know how it all works out later!!!!

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