Monday, March 1, 2010

meditation

about 8 minutes later.....Okay so i was not anywhere near what I had planned for meditating, but I do it, and I am sure that each time will be more focused. I am feeling pretty calm and relaxed just the same. I just found that while I was meditating I was focused on so many ways that it just would not work....the dog didn't know what to do with me and after a few laps around my lap, he finally found a soft spot to lay down, whew.....then I noticed the humming of the computer which brought my thoughts to my husbands anger earlier about the computer being on all night....push it away can't undo the past...I then found myself forcing it...just stop it already visualize for goodness sake....where am I??? Oh yeah I'm here in my livingroom attempting to meditate...NO NO NO....I am in a green field....I took several redirective breaths....focus, repeat meditate, meditate, meditate...green field, warm breeze, flower smells. Finally I just sat..eyes closed, darkness surrounding me, house sounds, car driving by, furnace turning on, no forced anything I just allowed what was...to be, no judgements, just let it go. WOOSH!!! Perhaps that is what meditating is all about, not some supernatural out of body experience that promices to bring infinate wisdom. Perhaps meditating is just simply being.

1 comment:

Sharli said...

Wendy,
I can relate to your experience. Some days it's easier than others to quiet my mind. Meditation for me is not a destination but an absence of things. When the computer noise reminds me it shouldn't be on at night, I think the words, "not now", and let it go. Meditation time is for me. Quiet time. After meditation, the urgent thoughts always come back so there isn't a danger of losing them. (if only we could, huh!).