november 1

Holiday over and back to normal. Well not the old normal, because that needs to change. It is all to evident that a change must be made as it is a new month and also the month of my birth, and I clearly am getting that itch. Each day I get closer to that change in my age status I am reminded of the wrinkles, the marks, the aches, the lost waist line and the greys. (although mine are more of a white then grey). But forgo the visual and physical signs that I am getting old, each birthday reminds me of what I haven't done and what I need to do. Ironic really, I often visualize what it will be like when I can retire, all the kids out of the house, just time for me and the hubby, maybe some much needed traveling. I even have hubby's retirement plans visual in my mind (of course he will never retire, he wouldn't know what to do with himself) so I got it all planned out for him. I envision finally being out of debt. being able to spend hours crafting, taking holidays to far away places. Maybe and I say this with no immediacy enjoying my grandchildren. Yet with the cannot wait for the days when, I know that I need to find a way to say I  stop and enjoy the now. I have always been a some day kind of a person. Someday when (insert here) then I can be happy. After all today days was once my someday....wasn't it? And poof no magic has happened. I would totally be having a terrible life if I had kept the idea that once I loss weight then.....because that someday has been longstanding, just take a look at the mile high pile of clothing I have in my closet price tags still attached just waiting for that someday when I can fit into them. It's sad really.....been spending so much time visualizing the days when, that somehow the days of now have slipped through my fingers. Gonna go think about that for a bit, get myself out the door for work and visit this blog later.